This is a transcript of the Emetophobia film produced by Granada Television

transmitted on Thursday 4 November, 1999 and Wednesday 29 March 2000.

LINDA DEAN: I suffer from emetophobia which is a fear of myself vomiting.  I don't like seeing other people being sick but really the fear relates to myself.  It's a fear of the physical sensations - the heavy stomach, the churning, the nausea, the retching, the taste, the smell, the mess..... It's every single aspect of it and it's a horror which haunts my life, day to day.  

It's a problem I've had from early childhood (cutaway to photo aged 10) but the turning point was at the age of 10 when I went on a ferry trip from Liverpool.  It was a 4-hour crossing on a VERY rough day (cutaway to rough seas filmed from boat) and everywhere I looked, people were being sick and heaving.  Other people didn't bother about it and some had it in a bag and pointed and swung it in front of me but I just couldn't look.  There was even one pool of vomit which was absolutely revolting and repulsive - an old woman had been sick and her dentures were in the middle of it.  It was horrible!

I am paranoid about food poisoning - I've got fridge thermometers, food thermometers and goodness knows what and I also have a very restricted diet.  (Cutaway to kitchen and shown preparing a 'meal'.)  I tend to eat a lot of plain fish, bread, crisps, cereal - and chocolate to try and gain weight.

Narrator: Because of her nausea and fear of meeting people who might pass on bugs, Linda neither works or goes out.  It is a difficult situation for her boyfriend.... 

Linda:  I have a partner of 12 years.  We met in 1987 and got engaged in 1989.  We were hoping to get married in 1991 but, again, because of the phobia, planning ahead, honeymoon, ceremony and wedding reception, it's just not been possible.  Also, it does affect the relationship in other ways - for example, Chris has a work 'do' next week which he'll be attending alone.  He'll be the only person there without a partner so it throws out the seating arrangements and the usual 'boy-girl-boy-girl', but on this occasion, he'll be sitting next to an empty chair as I'll be backing out at the last minute.  Over the 12 years he's worked for this company, I've avoided every function that's been arranged and his employer has even queried whether or not I actually exist!

Narrator:  Linda has researched her phobia thoroughly... (cutaway to piles of medical textbooks, medical trade journals, self-help books etc) and been to see dozens of experts for help.

Linda: I've seen three hypnotherapists, two psychiatric nurses, seven clinical psychologists, a psychoanalyst, I'm in touch with all the UK self-help groups and a few overseas, I've been to the top UK psychiatric hospital and had 4 assessments there - each of which have given conflicting advice, and it's got to the stage now where I've set up my own self-help group to try and find a way forward for myself and the many others who also suffer.  

Professor Gournay: If you have a straightforward fear of vomiting and seeing other people vomiting, that can be fairly easy to treat.  You can expose the person to vomiting video tapes (cutaway to pan of pile of 'vomit videos') and that can be quite effective.  But more often, the person has a fear of themselves vomiting.  Those people often fear losing control.  There are lots of other associated problems - they might check sell-by dates, they may look through their fridge, they may become obsessive about their food, and all those secondary behaviours are sometimes quite difficult to manage.  You've really got to help the person in graduated doses of difficulty break down that pattern of secondary behaviour that they've built up.  But it's a very difficult phobia to treat.  

Narrator: Janette has been emetophobic since she was three (cutaway of Janet slouched on settee with crystals on stomach, coffee table and clutching crystals).  Having tried most conventional treatments without success, she finds that crystals bring her some relief.  

Janette: The last time I was sick was February 4th 1987 and it started at 10.30 and it was a Thursday evening and, even now, I'm still scared of Thursday evenings.  When the anniversary comes around every year, for several days beforehand, and particularly on that night and if it falls on a Thursday it's worse than ever.  My life is an absolute nightmare and so is that of my husband and my mother because they have to try and keep me calm because I've never wanted my children to know about the problem.

Narrator: Janette's twin daughters, Victoria and Nicola, were never told about their mum's phobia.  Nevertheless, Victoria has also developed a fear of being sick. 

Victoria: There are a lot of situations which make me uncomfortable because of my phobia.  If somebody comes into school having been off for a couple of days and they say to me that it's because they've had a stomach bug and because they've been sick then it really scares me because it's horrible and I'm always scared I'll get it.  So whenever I go past them, I will hold my breath.

Narrator: Victoria's phobia came to a head recently when she had gastric flu.  Afterwards, she refused to eat and became dangerously thin.  

Janette:  The night Victoria had gastric flu, I was a complete coward.  I put earplugs in my ears so that I couldn't hear her being sick, I put my head under the pillow and I just waited for it to go away because I just could not cope.  

Victoria:  It was horrible knowing that I was going to be sick because you feel like a timebomb waiting to explode.  It's going to happen - you can't stop it and there's nothing you can do about it - it's just going to happen.  It's the most horrible feeling of helplessness.

Janette:  I am getting closer to the time that I am going to be sick again and (shaky voice) it scares me because I'm just getting closer and closer to it.  I know it's been 12 years and I know most people are very lucky if they go that long without being sick.  I've come close to it several times but I've fought it.  I don't know how but I've managed to stop myself being sick - but it can't last for ever. 

Linda:  If I woke up one day and the phobia had gone completely, AND the nausea attacks had also gone, I think the first priorities would be to resume a career, get married, possibly have children and start a family but, basically, what I would really like to do is lead a 'normal' life - just like anyone else would do. 

Linda's comments:  I felt a few remarks were taken out of context, particularly that I don't "go out" as this is not the case at all.  At the time of filming, I light-heartedly joked that I wouldn't be going out immediately after the broadcast incase I was recognised!!!!

I also thought it was interesting that Janette had never divulged her emetophobia to her daughters and, I assume, probably tried to hide it whenever she encountered emetophobia-related situations - yet Victoria has still developed the phobia herself.  It begs the question - are phobias learned or inherited - or a combination of the two?

I also noted that Professor Gournay didn't offer any real tips on how to overcome emetophobia when the fear is of oneself vomiting.