MARCH 2003

Hi Linda

I emailed you a couple of years ago and I have been meaning to get in touch
to inform you of my progress.

When I first heard of the Winter Vomiting Virus outbreaks in February 2002 I
was literally frozen with fear. I was already suffering from depression and
panic attacks at the time and this just sent my anxiety completely out of
control. My fear of vomiting spiralled into a complete obsession. I was
almost housebound and lively on four slices of bread a day. I read about an
antidepressant on the internet - ANAFRANIL - that was also an effective
anti-obsessive drug. I was convinced this would help and asked my doctor to
prescribe it. He did and just at a low dose 10mg per day, with no
side-effects.

WIthin three days my depression had lifted and gradually my
vomiting-obsession began to fade. I started going out again without giving
it a second thought, travelling on public transport and eating proper meals.
At the same time I started seeing a cognitive behaviour therapist and she
encouraged me to face my fear by means of 'vomit videos'. The first time I
watched this the sweat was pouring out of me, it was gross. So I had to
watch it every day for two weeks. Initially I dreaded it but forced myself
to watch it, firstly with the sound turned down which did help a bit to
start with. Gradually I introduced sound and within two weeks I could watch
the entire video without batting an eyelid. One day I even managed to eat
while watching it! One of my friends who did not even have emetophobia could
not bear to watch it. Then one of my friends offered to make himself sick in
front of me - I watch again without batting an eyelid - much to my
amazement. Gone were the familiar cold sweats and racing heartbeat.

Within six weeks of starting the ANAFRANIL and the cognitive therapy I was
well enough to return to work. I also increased the range of foods I was
eating eg when I used to go to McDonalds I just used to eat chips but then I
introduced donuts, milkshakes, ice creams and then Big Macs! I began to see
what I had been missing out on all those years. I now eat different mixes of
food which I would have previously avoided such as burgers with cola/7up and
chocolate shortly after meals. I went on two foreign holidays in six months
and really felt that life was worth living again. When I then heard of the
outbreak of the Winter Vomiting Virus again in September - December 2002 I
had a completely different reaction. I wasn't exactly happy that it was
around again but at the same time I wasn't that bothered, it didn't prevent
me from any of my daily activities this time around. I even sat near people
in work who had been suffering from it the previous day. I actually know
quite a few people who had the misfortune to fall victim to it but I didn't
let that deter me.

I hope this information will be of some assistance to you and other
sufferers and give you some encouragement. I only have to look at how my
life has improved over the last year and I can hardly believe how far I have
come.

Well bye for now.
Please email me back and let me know if this has been of any help.

Regards,  MM

 

 

 

Let me explain how my psychologist helped me by using hypnotherapy and you tell me if this is similar or different to your experience.  Maybe that will help.

 

First, we identified a list of 10 fears in hierarchical order (least to most).  I'm not sure that it should matter if your fear is just about you getting sick or not, since you can make the hierarchy anything you want.  Mine was about everything -- me, others, the smell, the feeling -- even just the letter "v" bothered me.  Coming up with the list itself was frightening! 

 

Then she taught me how to achieve deep relaxation/hypnosis.  I would lay down on a couch and she would talk me through relaxing every muscle, etc. until I was completely relaxed.  She would then introduce the lowest level fear from my list.  If I could remain relaxed (which I couldn't at the beginning), she would move up the hierarchy one at a time.  We'd go back down if I got tense and rework that fear until I could relax when she mentioned it before going on.  The idea behind the therapy is relearning my reaction to throwing up, and that you can't be tense AND relaxed at the same time.  So you teach your body to relax when it ordinarily would tense.

 

It took many months to work through the list (and I did a lot of it on my own at home).  It was a very difficult task, because I had to force myself to think about the very thing that disgusts and frightens me for long periods at a time.  And with the top three I never felt like I completely achieved success.  But apparently it worked despite this, because I truly believe I am cured of my fear.  I began to notice that I wasn't dwelling on it.  And if I saw the word "vomit" I didn't freak out and start to sweat.  I still don't relish the thought of throwing up, but most people don't anyway.  So I believe I am "normalized."  I don't think about it all the time, and I no longer have to rearrange my life in relation to it.  L